Complete Your Profile Right
When some difficulties are gone, others appear. How to fill in a profile correctly for people with autism so that to attract the right partners? A study conducted at the University of Bath focused on exploring how women react to the profiles of men with autism. As a result, researchers came up with some useful tips to make the profile catchier. Those tips will be also helpful for women with ASD/ASD looking for a man on a dating website.
- Maintain consistency in your profiles description as people usually find consistent profiles more attractive and reliable.
- Write about your autism. People prefer to choose partners who they can trust. It takes courage to tell about such a condition, yet, potential partners usually appreciate such honesty.
- Choose positive words to tell people about your hobbies and traits. Positive words are more appealing than negative ones.
Dont forget that the information you put online is public and will stay there. So, be careful when sending messages and sharing your photos and other personal information. Be ready that other people can also see it.
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To ensure the app represented the needs of users, Karriem ran every part of the process by the advisory board, comprised of two adults with autism and three educators with extensive experience working with children on the spectrum. One of the app designers also has autism.
Every detail of Hiki was developed with the autistic community in mind. According to Karriem, many people on the spectrum experience sensory overload when presented with bright colors, flashing lights or abrupt changes, so Hiki offers simple design layouts and user-friendly, step-by-step tutorials.
Two weeks ago, Hiki launched a beta test with a few hundred users, including Tyler. Karriem said Tyler regularly updates him on all of the new friends he has made, and Tyler is happy that this product finally exists.
Finding friendships and finding love really shouldn’t be a privilege, Karriem said. It should be a right. It’s time that the autistic community is able to have access to all the incredible things that those of us that are neurotypical do.
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Bringing The Community Together
Right now SpectrumSingles is still growing, but within the first couple days of getting real press after creating the site, they received a lot of positive feedback from the community.
According to Cantu, supporters would say things like, My child is on the autism spectrum, and I dont know what kind of future hell have, but now that I see this kind of stuff out here, I dont worry. Others would emphasize the aspect of understanding and say, I can connect to these people. Theres finally someone who gets these issues that I have.
We really want to bring the community together, Cantu said. There are some who prefer to be of one side on the spectrum, like Aspergers syndrome, and then they may separate themselves from plastic autism. We want to bring everyone together.
SpectrumSingles is currently crowd-funded, but thats not stopping Cantu and Fitzpatrick from constantly working to improve the Spectrum Compatibility Test and the websites features.
And because the site is for relationships and friendships, they hope to eventually separate it as well, making it easier for users to navigate between the two.
The future of dating for those on the autism spectrum is bright because of SpectrumSingles ability to identify the uniqueness of each individual and meet the needs of every person based on their individual situation.
To learn more about SpectrumSingles, visit www.spectrumsingles.com.
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Advice For Those With A Fear Of Rejection
Like everyone else, but perhaps more severely, people with autism fear rejection. To overcome this obstacle, they must keep in mind that dating requires practice and mistakes will be made. Alex Plank, founder of WrongPlanet.com, says, Its a numbers game, and because people on the spectrum are black-and-white thinking, they think theyre doing something wrong. I wish more people on the spectrum knew you need to practice, you need to go out on more dates. If people on the spectrum approach new friendships and romantic relationships with self-compassion and do not give up on themselves or the people they socialize with, they will have thriving relationships in no time. In short, keep practicing and keep up your confidence.
The Adult Autism Center offers a variety of programs that teach essential life skills to adults with autismincluding the social and communication skills that are critical when it comes to dating for adults with autism.
The Basic Membership Includes Access To The Discussion Forum
More than 3.5 million Americans are currently living with an autism spectrum disorder. Some have a mild case that presents as an unwillingness to depart from routines or a difficulty in sustaining relationships. Other cases are more severe with symptoms including being nonverbal or unable to make eye contact.
The mainstream dating world can be overwhelming for an individual with mild autism and impossible for someone with severe autism. Thats why Aspie Singles has stepped in with an unintimidating networking solution.
The Aspie Singles dating site has the profile browsing features and search tools that are standard for online dating. What sets it apart is its community-building features. The site has an active discussion forum where members can ask questions and share their experiences as a person with autism.
Members can take their time building friendships and relationships on Aspie Singles.
Aspie Singles is a dating site where people across the spectrum can communicate and connect as they see fit. It can be a space for making friends, testing social skills, or even finding a romantic partner.
The Aspie Singles site offers a free membership plan that includes access to the discussion forums and dating profile gallery. However, the free membership does not include unlimited private messaging. Single women can chat for free on the dating site, while single men must upgrade to a paid membership to send private messages.
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Finding Love And Romance
Like everyone else in society most people wish to have romance and a relationship so being Autistic is no different however, there are aspects you need to understand before dating an Autistic person. They wont readily hug or kiss you and wont understand your emotions and they will probably feel claustrophobic. However, this is all part of the condition.
Being highly sensitive they cant readily show emotions but they do have empathy, however small talk is difficult, if not impossible for them, therefore an initial meeting may prove hard work. Stay with it as youll be surprised, and who knows, eventually you may find a special friend.
Hiki Fosters Dating And Friendships
When it comes to making connections, autistics are often seeking both relationships and friendships. In fact, some autistics may want only friendship. Or, we may want only dating. Or, we may feel more comfortable dating someone only after a long time spent as friends. Thats why Hiki offers the opportunity to make all kinds of connections.
If you are looking for a relationship, you have so many people on Hiki that will be similar to you or understand you even if theyre not the same, says Brandy, who is autistic and has ADHD. If youre looking for just friends, you can have both. We have so many people that have met their partners and have made friendships on Hiki, and I think that its just important for us to have .
The creators of Hiki want to make one thing clear. Hiki exists to build autistic community for all: Some people are there just for friendship, Brandy explains. Theyre married, they are with partners, and they have no interest in anything romantic. They just want to meet other autistic people that share the same interests.
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The Challenges That People With Autism Face When Expressing Emotions
People with autism have all the same feelings as everyone else in fact, studies have found that their feelings can be more intense than those of neurotypical people. However, autism makes it harder to show or express emotion in the ways that are socially expected of them, so they are often misinterpreted as apathetic. John Elder Robison, autism advocate and author of Look Me in the Eyes, has personally experienced this phenomenon: Because we dont show , people make the wrong assumption about our depth of feeling about other people.
Why Should A Successful App With Millions Of Active Users Care About Any Of This
Ahh, now thats a great question. Its also a question that requires two answers.
1. Its our civic duty as designers.
Dating apps are riddled with scammers. In 2018 alone, dating app users reportedly lost a combined $143MM of their personal savings to online romance scams, with a median loss of $2,600 per person.
These scammers feed on desperate individuals, enticing them to connect and chat, and then subsequently convincing them to send large sums of money.
Given the lack of dating resources currently available to users on the spectrum, these individuals have become the primary targets of said scammers.
One of our most important roles as designers is to generate empathy for the user. This empathy effectively improves the likelihood that our research and design improvements are understood and properly implemented by non-designers.
If the notion of an autistic person who has never been on a date in their life losing $2,600 of their precious income to an online scammer while simultaneously having their confidence depleted doesnt make you feel some sort of empathy, then I dont know what will.
2. Its a strategic business opportunity.
1 in every 59 people have autism, a number that has ballooned by 32% since 2012.
Based on those figures, that means there are currently 4,152,000 adults on the spectrum in the U.S. alone.
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Aspie Singles: Building A Community Of Connection
People on the spectrum often connect more easily because they understand habits and behaviors that other individuals may not. Aspie Singles users find comfort in the fact that they dont need to explain what having an ASD means.
Being autistic often comes with traits, including very strong interests in certain topics and doing something repetitive to soothe the nerves called stimming. Most people on the autism spectrum know what stimming is, which means that they dont need to hold back, Douwe said.
Whats more, the platform aims to bring together people who think in similar sequences.
Some of us think more visually in patterns, others think more verbally, and Aspie Singles tries to bring those types together, said Douwe.
Instead of feeling like they need to tamp down their natural tendencies, those who meet on Aspie Singles can feel like they can be themselves with their dates. Though some of the singles on the site are not on the autism spectrum, they understand those with ASD traits.
People who are not on the autism spectrum themselves may be interested in a quirky, nerdy, geeky, and direct partner who may have problems with common social behaviors. Individuals on the autism spectrum are also commonly very gentle and loving, Douwe said.
Creating a place for people with autism to meet and date online has proven popular with people in the community. Aspie Singles adds 10 to 20 new members daily and offers premium lifelong memberships for only $20.
Asking Someone Out Online
When you feel that this is the right moment, ask your potential partner for a date. You know, people with autism and without it face almost the same level of stress when asking someone out. It is a good idea to approach someone with an open question first, say, Do you feel like going out sometime? This way, your potential parnr will answer exactly your question without considering a wrong or right date or place. Some psychologists recommend meeting each other soon enough after you establish a good contact online. Because it often happens that people that seem so compatible when they are just chatting, are actually very different when they finally meet in person.
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Hiki Lives On Social Media And Its Awesome
In todays digital world, nothing seems to happen unless its on social media. Hiki is well aware of the immense autistic presence on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and YouTube. As such, they have accounts on all of these platforms.
Whats more: Hikis social media accounts arent just advertising hubs. On TikTok and and Instagram reels, they work with autistic influencers to talk about autistic dating life. Their Instagram stories are full of humor. Brandy designs eye-catching graphics about important issues in the autistic community. Even more, the app is kickstarting IG Live Q& As. These conversations will function as community discussions about autistic dating and friendships.
Hiki is completely free for all users. If youre interested in trying out HikiApp, you can find it in the Apple App Store and on Google Play.
Reading And Sending Signals
The social signals involved in dating and flirting can be complex, inconsistent and subtle. Interpreting them presents a challenge for most everyone. It can be particularly difficult when ASD interferes with the ability to read and respond to social signals. This can produce confusion, discomfort and frustration. When social cues are missed, your date may feel that their messages or feelings arent being heard or validated. This takes some extra attention and communication on your part it is important to ask follow-up questions and clarify if you are not sure how to interpret a subtle cue.
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Tips For Asking Someone Out
- Spend some time chatting with them and getting to know them
- Ask to add them on Facebook, if they arent on Facebook ask for their phone number or email, telling them it would be good to catch up again
- Chat to them on Facebook or text or email with general conversation starters such as How has your week been? What have you been up to?
- After conversing for a while, suggest getting together an activity that is appealing to most people is a good first choice. A coffee shop is always a safe bet. Of course if you know you both share a particular interest then an activity related to this shared interest is also a good idea
- Always be guided by the “three strikes and youre out rule i.e. if someone does not respond positively to three approaches to get together with them, even if they provide what could sound like plausible excuses, no further approaches should be made
- If subsequent to this, the person makes their own approach of course you can follow up and the three strikes reverts to zero..
Hiki Prioritizes User Safety
Virtual social platforms can be frightening for a lot of users. There may be unwanted interactions, scammers, bullies, and other uncomfortable presences. Hiki is well aware of the need to make their app a safe space.
We really care so much about the community there and keeping it safe, says Brandy. We are constantly monitoring for scammers.
Beyond scams, users may encounter difficult interpersonal interactions. Brandy continues, I also help to monitor the feed. We want to make it safe and stress free for the community, so we think that it is important to remove things that could trigger someone or be harmful, or if someone is arguing, we will remove the comment and ban the person for a little while to let them cool off. Sometimes we get criticism for monitoring a little bit too much.
Still, bans dont usually last forever. Its just a moment for users to take a break before returning to the app.
Overall, though, Hiki seems like an easy-going space. These apps can be scary places, says Jamil, but I think a lot of people have found a tremendous amount of positive community engagement and love and a feeling of sort of solidarity amongst this identity that I think doesnt exist in the other consumer social apps that have been in the marketplace.
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Does Gender Affect People With Autism Differently
People with autism dont all behave or think the same, including in romantic relationships. There are a variety of factors and idiosyncrasies when it comes to how autism affects a partner, including gender.
Some research suggests that autism differs between men and women. Here are some notable points to keep in mind when dating an autistic man or dating an autistic woman.
Why Is Dating So Hard For Asperger Singles & Autistic People
The online dating process can be intricate. On the road to your first date, you may have to spend a lot of energy getting your profile details filled in, uploading appropriate pictures and manoeuvring your way through lengthy chats or even phone calls.
Eventually, once youve found someone who makes you happy, its all worth it however, when youre in the midst of it all, things can be quite overwhelming and frustrating.
Many British singles are hesitant to embark on their journey of online dating, and for people with a disability, it can be even more daunting.
Here are some hard numbers on statistics regarding autistic dating:
- 30% of young adult internet users in the UK actively use dating sites.
- 41% of autistic adults have been in a romantic partnership for more than two months.
- 44% of autistic adults who use dating sites said they had long-term relationships that lasted an average of 2.65 years.
An alternative approach to online services are regular social events, such as Speed Dating, which are frequently held in major Cities all round the United Kingdom. Offline dating events in the United Kingdom can be effective, but tend to focus on speed dating and are generally more recommended for outgoing and extroverted personalities, rather than people diagnosed with autism.
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