Having An Autistic Partner
Of course, not everybody is the same, but for autistic people, things like picking up on traditional social rules and body language, understanding their own feelings, and sensory processing may not always come naturally. At times, this could lead to misunderstandings within a relationship, or you may find that your partner says or does something that is unintentionally hurtful. This can be difficult to deal with.
Having an autistic partner may mean having to help them with social interaction, particularly around unwritten social rules.
We want to stress that autistic people are just as capable of having loving and successful relationships as non-autistic people. You can read some of our stories here.
However, there may be adjustments that you need to make, such as thinking about the way youcommunicatewith your autistic partner. You may have the additional responsibility of helping them tomanage their money, employment or supporting them toadvocate.
Partners often contact us to talk about relationship strategies andother support.
Bloomin Brands Liz Smith To Surrender Ceo Job
Liz Smith will surrender the CEOs job at Outback Steakhouse parent Bloomin Brands to longtime Chief Financial and Administrative Officer Dave Deno on April 1 in what the company says was a planned succession.
Smith, who also holds the position of chairman, will assume the post of executive chairman of Bloomins board, which Deno will join as a director, the company said.
Denos financial and administrative duties will be assumed by Christopher Meyer, group VP of financial planning and analysis. Meyer will take the title of CFO and inherit Denos current second title of EVP.
Smith has been CEO for 10 years, joining Bloomin while it was still known as OSI Restaurant Partners. It had been acquired two years earlier for $3.2 billion by the private-equity firms Bain Capital and Catterton Partners. The company had lost $739.4 million the year before Smith joined the company. She had left Avon Products, where she was president, after being bypassed for the CEOs job at the cosmetics concern.
Working closely with Deno, Smith engineered a turnaround at Bloomin, which is also the parent of Carrabbas Italian Grill, Bonefish Grill and Flemings Prime Steakhouse and Wine Bar.
Deno has been with Bloomin since 2012, joining it from the Best Buy chain of big-box electronics stores. Most of his career had been spent in the quick-service restaurant business for Taco Bell parent Yum Brands and Burger King.
Carry On The Conversation
Thats all I have to say for today. Now its time to hear from you. If you are autistic or if you know someone who is, have you got any stories which prove the mindblindness theory wrong? I would love to hear them in the comments below.
Also, if anyone has any further questions to ask Carolyn then send them my way and I will see if I can corner her into another interview.
As always, I can be found on Twitter and via my email: .
If you like what you have seen on the site today, then show your support by liking the and signing up to the Autistic & Unapologetic newsletter .
Thank you for reading and I will see you next Saturday for more thoughts from across the spectrum.
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They Have Unusual Eating Behaviors
Unusual eating behavior is a common occurrence in most people who develop autism. Autistic kids have extreme sensitivities and preferences when it comes to food choices. This can be frustrating to deal with. Yet it is a problem that if you are aware of, can save a lot of heartache. However remember that in this age of diets, we all have at some point developed unusual eating habits.
He Has Frequent Meltdowns
Meltdowns can be part of the package with someone with ASD, and how they handle them is different from person to person. They usually happen after a buildup of tension or frustration and can come out of nowhere. They’re almost always purely emotional.
Emma Dalmayne, an adult on the spectrum and a mother of autistic children, says,”When you have a meltdown, it’s as if the world is ending. Everything is too much and you feel like overwhelming darkness has engulfed your very being. Irrepressible anger that may seem completely irrational to an outsider can be inwardly devastating us internally.”
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Prominent Restaurant Company Leader Resigns From Role
Liz Smith was CEO of Tampa-based Bloomin Brands for 10 years before transitioning to executive chairwoman of the board in April 2019.
TAMPA Liz Smith has resigned as executive chairwoman at Bloomin Brands, the Tampa-based parent company of Outback Steakhouse, Carrabba’s Italian Grill, Bonefish Grill and Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse and Wine Bar.
According to a Feb. 13 SEC filing, Smiths resignation is effective March 6. She will remain involved with the company as a member of the board of directors.
James Craigie, the boards lead independent director, will succeed Smith who served as CEO of Bloomin Brands from 2009 to 2019 as executive chairman.
In November, Bloomin Brands CEO David Deno says the firm where an activist investor, Jana Partners, has been pushing for a restructuring or other changes was exploring potential strategic alternatives that could include the sale of the company.
In the filing, Bloomin Brands also announced that Outback Steakhouse President Gregg Scarlett has been named executive vice president and COO of its casual dining restaurant division. Bloomin Brands also announced a restructuring that will see Jeff Carcara and Michael Kappitt, executive vice presidents of Bonefish Grill and Carrabbas Italian Grill, respectively, leave the company.
Bloomin Brands reported gross revenue of $4.13 billion in 2018, down from $4.22 billion in 2017.
Guardianships Proxies And Powers Of Attorney
Guardianship is just one way to protect your ability to help your child negotiate the adult world. People both with and without disabilities make use of legal documents such as powers of attorney and health proxies to protect their individual needs and rights. You’ll need to decide what level of protection is right for your child and family situation.
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Can I Schedule Outback Steakhouse Delivery Using Uber Eats
Uber Eats lets you order food now and schedule food delivery for later. See if the Elizabeth Outback Steakhouse youd like to order from lets you schedule delivery for the time youre interested in.
Can I order pick-up from a Outback Steakhouse near me?
You can opt to place a pick-up order or dine-in order with certain restaurants using Uber Eats in some cities. Learn more about placing a pick-up order.
Final Suggestions For Improving An As
For the NT, shift your focus from what you are not getting from your AS partner to see and value the strengths he or she brings to the relationship.
- For the AS person, reconsider your perception of your partner and of yourself. Consider that, because of the differences in the way your brain works, a lot of what your partner is telling you about your role in problems is probably right.
- For both NT’s and AS’s, try to listen to one another in a non-defensive way. Ask for clarification of things you don’t understand in a simple, respectful, and low key way.
- Become students of each other’s culture. Pretend that you are learning a new language from a new country. If you are an AS, remember that, in many ways, your partner is from another planet, the NT planet. And if you are an NT, remember that your AS partner is from the AS planet. Celebrate the diversity and the differences.
I realize that I have only scratched the surface here. I welcome your comments, experiences, critiques, and suggestions. But I hope that you will find some beginning tips and tools to help you celebrate and thrive in your marriage.
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Why Is It Hard For People With Autism To Communicate
So imagine you are in Japan people speak differently in Japan and you cant understand what theyre saying. People in Japan do things differently to you youre not sure why theyre doing it, but you can tell its obviously important. And the culture is so different that you are like, what the heck?!
For a lot of people with autism thats what communication is like it just seems all foreign and unfamiliar. People expect you to automatically pick stuff up, but when you have autism you just cant.
Questions You Always Wanted To Ask A Person With Autism
Hannah, 31, often gets asked questions about living with autism here are the answers to those curly questions!
Hannah, 31, often gets asked questions about living with autism and sometimes they are a little curly to answer!
Autism can be a different experience from person to person, but to break down the stigma of autism, Hannah is answering some of the curly questions she gets asked most often.
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He May Become Distant
People with autism sometimes need a break from constantly being “on” around you. They also won’t want you to see these breaks and so they may become distant and spend time away from you randomly.
It’s not your fault. It’s just something that he has to do.
Intuitive Facilitator Joseph Stasaitis says, “I have found autistic folks to be quite empathetic. They may not express or exhibit their emotions freely, but this can be misinterpreted as not caring. The autistic person may then very well withdraw to keep safe. Although craving love and intimacy they tend to lack the ability to pick up on social cues.”
Autism Can Make Romance Trickybut Not Impossible
Steven Gans, MD, is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital.
Asperger’s syndrome no longer exists as a discrete diagnosis. Today, people with the symptoms of Asperger’s receive an autism spectrum diagnosis . The names “Level 1 autism spectrum disorder” or “high-functioning autism” are often used instead of Asperger’s.
It can be difficult to manage marriage to a person who has a hard time with social skills, interpersonal communication, empathetic understanding, or flexibility of thought.
Dr. Robert Naseef and Dr. Cindy Ariel are experts in counseling families in which a person is on the spectrum. They offer specific insights and advice to partners living with high-functioning autism.
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They Are Not Broken Autism Is Nobodys Fault
It is human nature to want to fix things that we think to be broken. When dealing with an autistic loved one, it is all too easy to go into fix it mode. However, this mindset can be very damaging. When trying to create a nurturing relationship, remember that your loved one didnt choose autism. It is no more their fault than it is yours. It is important that you continue to show love, empathy and a genuine desire to understand the struggles they face.
Prepare Yourself Mentally And Physically
According to experts, were built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, its important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.
Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside. Bob Proctor
Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:
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Other Legal Approaches To Safeguarding An Adult With Autism
In addition to guardianship, proxies, and powers of attorney, your family may want to consider the other options for ensuring your adult child’s legal and personal safety.
- You may want to think about appointing a permanent or temporary Guardian or Conservator who is responsible for handling specific decisions. This appointment can be permanent or for a short period of time.
- You can create a joint bank account in your name and your child’s name.
- Your adult child can create an Appointment of Advocate and Authorization, which allows them to designate someone to advocate on their behalf when interacting with agencies like the Department of Developmental Services , the Department of Human Services , Medicaid, and the local authorities.
Intellectual Disability And Marriage
There is only one reason that someone with ASD would be prevented from marrying. Thats if their competence to enter into a legally binding marriage is called into question.
This can be a delicate and complex subject. On the one hand, there are people who want to make commitments to people they love, and would understandably like those commitments to be official.
On the other hand, people with special needs can be vulnerable in many ways. They might need someone to step in and help with aspects of life they struggle with. There is also the fear that people with special needs might not always understand the full consequences of their actions.
The standards for competence vary depending on the state. However, if someone is found incompetent, a guardian is appointed to handle their affairs. In that case, the person with ASD may still be able to marry with the permission of their guardian.
While they may face limited legal barriers to marriage, people with intellectual disabilities may be prevented from marrying for social and economic reasons.
Some people with ASD may depend on government support, like social security income, to pay their living expenses. The amount of support they receive can be affected by a few things, but most importantly income and assets.
Couples with intellectual disabilities face a number of other challenges, including retaining custody of any children.
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Dr Cindy Ariel: Cognitive Therapy Can Make A Positive Difference
People can change. In our profession, we help people to change and would not do what we do if we did not believe with certainty that it is possible. Most people with high-functioning autism function at a high cognitive level, and that means your partner will be able to use that intelligence to learn social behavior that is more socially acceptable and empathetic.
If your partner is willing to see a counselor, or even to get a second opinion, it could help them to see what is difficult to accept right now. Reading books by other adults with autism such as Stephen Shore, Temple Grandin, and Donna Williams may also be very helpful to begin to gather the cognitive evidence they may need to understand their diagnosis.
People with autism are able to move forwardnot quickly and easily, perhaps, but slowly and steadily. It takes patience and perseverance. You will both have to change some of your current understanding and expectations. In every marriage, couples must make some sacrifices and compromises that they did not expect, and this often brings couples to a deeper, more mature place in their love, marriage, and commitment to one another.
They Can Be Sensory Sensitive
The normal everyday hustle and bustle can be overwhelming to our loved ones with autism. Normal senses like sight, sound, and taste can be jarring, frightening and painful. It is impossible to avoid all outside stimuli but understanding the discomfort they go through is a huge first step to loving someone with the condition.
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Can A Committed Aspie
Young love. It’s so beautiful, so wonderful, it takes your breath away.
Like any other romantic couple, two adults who are in love in an Asperger’s relationship are on cloud nine when they first meet.
Reality sinks in once the emotional high wears off, and if there are not some tools for navigating the journey, Aspie-NT couples may find themselves at-risk.
There are many successful Aspie-Aspie marriages and Aspie-NT marriages. For the purposes of this article, I am going to cover the subject of Aspie-NT .
For every successful Aspie-NT committed relationship, there are many others who are struggling, teetering, and on the brink of failing.
Asperger’s Syndrome Essential Reads
Second, in doing some research for this article, I found a site called Aspires: Climbing the Mountain Together.
Here’s a quote from the site:
ASPIRES is an on-line resource for spouses and family members of adults diagnosed or suspected to be on the autistic spectrum. Our approach to one another and towards our “significant others” is directed towards solving problems in our relationship with a spectrum-sitting spouse.ASPIRES is an e-mail subscription list for individuals with AS, and those who have a parent, spouse, or child with AS. We share our family and relational experiences, resources and survival tips as well as offer encouragement and hope. Through sharing, we hope to lighten one another’s burdens and find positive solutions to many of the troubling challenges that characterize our relationships and bridge the communication gap that exists in everyday life.
Step 3: Both partners must make a serious commitment to making the relationship work.
However, the individual with NT is going to have to understand that it will feel to them that they are the party making more accomodations. Even if the individual with AS accepts and understands their diagnosis, the truth is that your brains are wired differently. Interpreting non-verbal signals, the core of all communication, for example, is something that the AS individual will always have a lot of difficulty doing.
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Solutions For Aspeger’s Committed Relationships
I am borrowing the ideas for this article fromSolutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome , and specifically to psychologist Dr. Juanita P. Lovett’s chapter on How is Affected by AS .
Building Understanding Between AS and NT Worlds
Here are some autism spectrum facts about individuals with Aspergers that it’s important for NT partners to understand:
- An individual with AS has challenges understanding or predicting the consequences of his/her behavior on others. Therefore, the Aspergers partner may see the NT partner as irrational or illogical.
- NT women especially tend to want their partners to understand them and their feelings. However, they need to realize that this is something they may not be able to get from their AS partner. Some change may be possible, but the NT partner may need to adjust his/her expectation, and find other places for support without being unrealistic about what they expect from their AS partner.
- AS men in particular may find conflict almost intolerable. They may hear a difference of opinion, or an attempt to explain a different perspecitve about a situation, as conflict or a criticism of who they are.
- AS individuals, because they have a hard time separating boundaries at times, may hear criticism of a family member as a criticism of them, and they likely will not be willing to tolerate it.